Moving Forward

I am officially done moving from Lincoln to Omaha, and the anxiety is back. A little over two weeks ago I was given my student teaching placement: McMillan Magnet Center located in North Omaha. I am happy with my placement since it was my second preference, and I am excited to begin serving a diverse school with a math focus. I will be responsible for 3 science and 3 math classes. Since there is block scheduling, my two student teaching expereinces will be shared over the sixteen week long classroom experience (instead of split up with 8 weeks dedicated each). Realizing this prompted the feelings of anxiety to first reared their ugly head. I understand some degree of anxiety will always be present as I transition into the field of teaching, but the type of anxious energy I have currently doesn't seem to be productive. A million different scenarios are making tracks across my thoughts, and I wonder if I'm really cut out for teaching... Hopefully the intensity and degree of these feelings will pass and I will be more constructive in my thoughts.

I have already met one of my cooperating teachers (CT), Mr. K, who I will be working with in three science classes. I'm sure that my science experience will be positive. Mr. K has a "sink or swim" approach, and is expecting me to assume many of the teaching responsibilities from early on in the semester. This is different from what I expected; the traditional student teaching model involves several weeks of observation followed by gradual induction into teaching. While I am excited to have so much control and involvement from early on, I am anxiously overwhelmed by the prospect of being in charge! After discussing learning objectives and outcomes, I have already begun brainstorming and will have some plans to share with my CT by the end of December. Mr. K also introduced me to many teachers in the science department (who he described as the "pirates" of the school since the magnet focus is not on science) and many other administrators and staff members. I will have to work as hard to remember the staff names as I will the students; I am horrible with names!

The jury is still out on the math component of my student teaching experience. I have not been able to catch up with my CT, Ms. C, for the last two weeks. I was getting apprehensive and worried that I would not be as prepared for math as I will be for science. I finally received an email from Ms. C this morning and I will meet with her tomorrow. Hopefully I will have similar instructional freedom (e.g., planning and curriculum) in my math classes, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. While I love teaching and thinking about math, the way American school systems have structured math instruction makes it nearly impossible to plan creatively for constructive learning. I am planning to be given a strict schedule that I will have to adhere to; as a math educator I cannot risk "getting behind" because students will ultimately suffer when it comes to testing. I hope that through my student teaching experience I am able to develop a balance between testing and learning... Math will certainly be my biggest challenge.

Tonight, my fellow cohort members will celebrate the end of a semester and an era, as we prepare to student teach in less than a month. I am both excited and mortified to have to move on... Growth and change are eminent but I just can't wait to see what's in store.